Q: Panty sniffer
My best friend is happily married. She discovered that her husband has a thing for her used panties. She caught him sniffing her used panties when he was loading the washing machine. She asked him what he was doing to which he replied that he was just checking if the knickers were clean or dirty. On another occasion, she saw him masturbating with her used knickers. She did not interrupt him. Later she discovered semen stains on that pair of knickers. She did not confront him but she finds it creepy. I think that his behavior is weird. I was wondering if you have ever caught your men sniffing or masturbating with your used knickers?
A: I can’t say that I’ve ever found my partner sniffing my knickers however if I did it personally wouldn’t bother me. The reality is is this is a fetish.
Due to societies shaming most men would keep this fetish in the closet so to speak. That would be called weird or a freak so that’s why it has been done by this husband in privacy. I’d suggest that your friends see tenant openly discuss with him so she can better understand and assist him with something that obviously gives him pleasure.
We have two kinds of sweat. One is found that produces water and salt with pretty much no odour and the other is the Apocrine gland are found in armpit and crotch. Using the public hair folicales when we sweat secretes proteins, lipids and pheromones. This can create body odour. However it also releases pheromones to attract a mate and at times of ovulation women release different pheromones to advertise fertility and be more attractive to others. So the short version her sweat and secretions on her knickers are attracting her partner sexually!
That’s actually a good thing.
This is why buying used underwear is popular in many countries with places like Japan selling them in a vending machine (I did look when I lived there however never found one).
So let your mate know the sniffing shoes an extremely strong bond he has with her and her body smells. It’s actually just another connection tool for him and a way to be closer to her. The more he feels shamed the more he will hide this fetish.
P.S. I’d suggest popping a dirty pair into his briefcase as an icebreaker!
Q: Childhood Fantasies
Just curious. Is it usual to have sexual fantasies as a child?? I remember having some romantic fantasies in kindergarten and then some more advanced ones during primary school. I just enjoyed the sensations in my body, that these fantasies brought to me, never judged them or me being wrong or bad, even though I sought privacy when I felt like going into that fantasy world, but today I thought about it and began wondering, – where do they come from??
I grew up in a relatively ordinary and happy home.
The fantasies have always had a strong element of power play. (They still do 😉 )
I am curious about the source.
A: The source is hormones!
It’s also about connecting to your body and the fact that we are able to do it at such a young age should be honoured and a great thing instead of the stigma that is attached to it. We get told not to touch ourselves as a child and I need to ask the question “why not?”
I remember being around seven or eight years of age and realised how good it felt to touch my vulva area. I remember having these porcelain ornaments that would sit on my dressing table and one day in winter I discovered that the coolness of the porcelain felt fabulous around my clitoral area. I would regularly rub it yet I didn’t quite understand what I was doing. I just knew it felt good.
We get connected to bodies as soon as we are born. We have this gift of touch which allows us to connect with oursleves and with someone else. Geeze, I remember my niece would hump the ground in her nappy and would literally not only break a sweat but she would go red in the face and I would look at her and then her mum and tell her mum “Do you realise she’s actually working her way up to an orgasm?” Hahaha
So as a small child all we know is when something feels good and because we spend most of your time in our minds, and as a small child we are more creative and encourage to make up stories, these can also be fantasies.
This is all perfectly normal and let me tell you once a female turns 14 the hormones then go rampant!! This is why in ancient times those girls who went into the teachings of the goddess would live underground during these years as a woman’s third eye is open and this regulates growth and hormones. Hormones influence the releasing of life force energy. Between ages of 14 and 21 women would enter this darkness phase of living underground. In puberty the activation of the third Eye provides the message to activate karmic and sexual identity is closely related to our Kundalini energy and life force. Teenagers become biologically activated towards individuation and creating a ‘new’ future.
So in short fantasies, hormones and connecting with yourself are perfectly normal!
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